Video & Performance
Teathered Self
2024
For much of my early life, conflicting aspects of my identity created an inner tension that kept me from fully accepting myself. Over time, I've learned to embrace my complexity and find peace in being multifaceted.
In this video work, I explore the coexistence of my layered identities- particularly as a transgender, mixed-race individual. Centering on the act of breathing beneath a heavy, wet hood, the work uses the struggle for air as a metaphor for reconciliation. Each deliberate breath reflects the balance between control and surrender, embodying the quiet struggle toward inner harmony.
Shaving the Niyog
2022
Medium: Performance, video, installation, brass, coconut, painted rocking horse, cast aluminum bolo tie, Filipino textiles
'Shaving the Niyog' explores this tension and my journey toward self-acceptance as existing in many cultures at once, all the time, and not denying any part of them.
I wore a leather cowboy outfit, a nod to both American masculinity and queer expression. I invited participants to grate coconuts using a traditional Filipino coconut grater while I demonstrated with one I've made. We share stories while grating. This performance was connective and celebrated hybridity. Afterwards, they got to take the shaved coconut with them in baggies to share with their loved ones.
Transending
2020
This video documents the changes I experienced during my first year of testosterone therapy as part of my gender-affirming medical care. The images of my face, captured a few months apart, show the subtle but significant shifts in my appearance. Likewise, my voice recordings illustrate the gradual deepening of my voice as I recite excerpts from Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass.
Overlayed with these visual and auditory transformations is a slowed-down video of me administering my first testosterone shot in my thigh, a moment marked by the support of friends who cheered me on. That day represents a pivotal milestone in my journey- one of radical self-love, empowerment, and embracing my authentic self.
Consume and spit out western standards
2021
From an early age, I struggled with the Western ideals of beauty, both in art and the body, as I never felt like I fit within these narrow standards. During my first years in undergrad, I created master copies, including a conte drawing of The Discus Thrower. This work was presented to me as the epitome of beauty and craftsmanship. However, I became frustrated because these images depicted white European bodies, and so did the artists. I found myself trying to align with this image, hoping that by replicating it, I could become like it.
Now, I take pride in the fact that I do not resemble the Discus Thrower and I celebrate that I am not like the European Masters. Instead, I am proud to be a Filipino-American, transgender artist. In transforming my old drawing through the lens of my own body, I reclaim this image in its raw, authentic form. My work is an act of self-expression, embracing my identity and rejecting the limitations imposed by historical standards of beauty.